Expectation is a motherfucker. While I know this to be true, I am still sometimes caught off guard by my own expectations. I’m usually made aware of them by the jarring realization that the expectations have gone unfulfilled. That leads to disappointment and disaffection, or, in layman’s terms, a shitty mood.
The other day I was waiting for Brother and his partner Mr. Mike to invite me and the hubby over for a visit. I didn’t have an exact time frame and didn’t know when they would reach out- usually when Mr. Mike comes down, Brother spends a good chunk of the day with him since they don’t hang out much. I get that, they need their alone time too, and it had been a while since Mr. Mike was able to visit. So concerned was I with when we were going to be messaged, though, that I ended up literally sitting on most of the day and it ended up being not very fulfilling.
My husband felt a little put aside. Though we did take a trip to purchase some vinyl from a friend who was unloading it, there was so much more we could have done during the day had I not been so laser-focused on going to see Brother and Mr. Mike. I guess it’s one of those things that happen to me when I am anticipating little-space, I just tend to hone in on one thing to the exclusion of others.
Anyway, as a result of this, I did not enjoy my day off as much as I could have, though it was far from a total bust. When we finally arrived at Brother’s place (and after I spent a half hour pouting in the car) we went up and had a fantastic time. We decided to play some board games. The first up was Chutes and Ladders, which I haven’t played in decades.
First off, the new version of this game is so cheaply done… I can’t even. I feel robbed of something even playing it. Second, only three player pieces? Good thing Brother had some Star Wars stuff laying around! Third, this game takes forever! As an adult I realize that this game was invented to keep kids distracted. I wonder how many other of my childhood board games were just STFU endeavors engineered so parents could have a few minutes of peace. The sad thing is that none of us have any real hair to pull.
After, we played a different board game which was, well, boring, but that’s not really the point of all this… the point is that even when you’re trying to be more mindful, sometimes the expectations creep in. Nothing is truly certain, though. You never know what is going to happen despite planning things out. I’m thankful for this reminder to live in the moment, lest it be squandered.